Author: Elyssa Manis – My Marriage Works

How Empathy Saved My Marriage

May 7, 2023 by Elyssa Manis

I consider myself a pretty empathic person. I’m a therapist after all. I’d make a pretty lousy therapist if I didn’t have empathy.

Yet when it came to my marriage. Empathy was NOWHERE to be found.

I mean sure, it was there in the beginning. It is in all new relationships, at the falling in love stage. It’s easy then.

It was much harder to feel empathy when I was knee deep in anger and resentment that has built up over the years.

Years of feeling like I was “trying”, yet nothing was changing.

What I wasn’t able to see at the time was that I was being the worst version of myself in my approach towards my husband…..and yet, at the time, I really believed I was the only one trying.

It was so hard for me to see that the demanding, critical version of me was actually pushing away the very thing I wanted.

Do you ever notice that we tend to treat the people we love the most, the worst?

This is a common problem I see with many of the clients I work with.

They get so focused on WHAT THEY WANT and how they’re not getting it. That they can’t see that the way they are going about it IS what’s making it so difficult for their partner to give to them.

They aren’t aware of how their partner is experiencing them or how they are being impacted by the complaints and criticism.

And so your partner, on the receiving end, is feeling like they can never do anything right.

When people feel this way, they actually STOP TRYING. They figure, no matter what I do it’s not going to be good enough so why bother.

For example, say you want more quality time with your partner but instead of telling them you miss them and want to spend time together.

You tell them, “you never makes me a priority, you never have time for me, you always do this, I can’t count on you to be there”.

Criticism, complaint and demands are ways you, perhaps unknowingly, try to get more of what you want.

But let’s face it, NO ONE responds well to being criticized. No one feels motivated to give when they are repeatedly criticized.

You may think, I’m just telling them what I want. And it is true. You are telling them what you want.

But in a way that makes it impossible for your partner to want to do the things you’re asking for.

And as a successful woman, running her own business, caring for your family, you wonder why can’t someone take care of me once in a while. Why do I have to do everything all the time? Why does my partner NOT see that?

True. YOU DO DESERVE ALL OF THAT AND MORE. 💞
A partner that sees you, supports you, and treats you like the goddess you are.

But first…… you have to be aware of HOW YOU ARE GETTING IN YOUR OWN WAY.

How a single focus and a lack of empathy keep you stuck in this painful pattern.

I know. Years ago I was exactly where you may be right now.

So how did I turn things around in my marriage to become the happiest I’ve ever been?

After some years of being stuck in these same kinds of patterns, I eventually started to not feel good about who I was being as a partner.

My grumpy, critical, negative, frustrated mood was not only taking a toll on my marriage it was taking a toll on ME.

I didn’t want to feel this way either, any more than my husband wanted me to be nagging at him all the time.

That’s when I told myself it was time for a change.

And it was the first time I started to think about, like really think about, how my actions, words, behavior was impacting my husband.

I really thought about what it must feel like to be on the receiving end of what I was dishing out.

Now remember, I’m an empathic person, so when I really allowed myself to think about this, it completely changed the game for me.

⚡ I started to put myself in his shoes and appreciate how it must have felt for him to feel like he was always being criticized and no matter what he did it was always wrong or never good enough.

I started to soften, I was less angry, and honestly, I felt some guilt that I’d been this way for so long.

Recognizing that changed the game for me AND for my marriage.

HOW DID EMPATHY CHANGE MY MARRIAGE?

Once I was aware of this, there was no going back. I started to really think about what I was going to say and how I was going to say it.

It helped me tune into my husband and really want to understand him instead of justifying and defending my position all the time.

I was able to see his efforts and not just dismiss everything he was doing.

Instead of only focusing on what I wasn’t getting I started to notice all the ways he was already giving to me that I was NOT paying attention to.

By The simple act of noticing positive aspects of my partner and our marriage, I felt so much better.

Empathy truly is the bridge to intimacy.

And it can easily get lost in long term marriages.

And so that’s one of the important skills that I help my clients with in my 12 week marriage mastery program.

The lack of empathy, the lack of being able to recognize how your behavior and words have an impact on your partner will keep you disconnected.

So this is a must if you want to reconnect to love and appreciation for your spouse.

What does empathy do for an intimate relationship?
It heals, it connects, it softens, it accepts.
It’s the magic elixir.
It can quickly eliminate the cycles of conflict and disconnection.

The power of empathy cannot be underestimated.

To bring empathy back to your marriage I help my clients move out of a self focused perspective to considering the relationship as a whole instead of a you against me.

Realizing that you are a part of the pattern and you are also having an impact on your partner.

I help you unpack the negative labels and your preconceived ideas and judgments about your partner that prevent you from seeing the full story of your relationship.

You learn to connect with yourself again and bring awareness to how you’re showing up.

Not from a place of blame or judgement but simply being aware so that you can choose to do it differently.

You learn new ways of communicating so criticism, complaints and demands are replaced with requests, acknowledgment and appreciation.

I teach you how to listen to your partner is a whole new way. Without defending, without righteousness, without judgement.

Because when you are defending, being judgy and righteous you CAN’T possibly feel empathy or feel connected to your spouse.

These are skills that take time to learn and require a willingness to look at how you can improve your response to your partner even when you don’t like or don’t agree with what they say or do.

We all have a deep need to feel heard and understood and when we do, we can’t help but feel close and connected to the other person.

When you make these changes, your partner will naturally be more responsive to you. You are way more likely to have them want to do the things you request.

This is the work of creating a fulfilling, thriving, satisfying marriage for life.

It’s not the quick fix. It’s not “our marriage will be better when they change”.

That simply doesn’t work, which you’ve probably already discovered.

If you’ve been on the path for a while and you’ve not been able to create lasting sustainable change, you likely need a different approach.

An approach that has you solving the fight of the week or efforting to get your partner to do the things you want….keeps you spinning your wheels.

Things always revert back to the same old same old.

My MARRIAGE MASTERY approach is different in that the focus is on changing the patterns, not the person!

You definitely can influence your partner, when you shift they will shift.

But TRYING TO CHANGE OTHER PEOPLE is an exercise in futility.

PATTERNS, you can change them.

When each person is focused on changing their part.

And if you’re doing this work alone that’s ok too.

Because, like I said, if you shift they will shift.
So even if you’re the only one working on making a shift you will absolutely see a shift in your relationship dynamics and patterns.

So what do you say?

Does your marriage need a dose of empathy?

If you’re looping in circles you need a new approach, I can show you exactly what you can do to turn your marriage around and rekindle the love and connection you once shared.

If interested send me a message. Let me know how long you’ve been married, what you’ve already done to try and fix things and how you want your marriage to be different.

If it sounds like something I can help you with we can schedule a call to get you started in my 12 week coaching program.

50% of Marriages End in Divorce

May 7, 2023May 5, 2023 by Elyssa Manis

50% of marriages end in divorce 60% of second time marriages end in divorce.

Why are these stats so high?

I believe the real problem is that people don’t know how to be married.

No one ever teaches us how to be in a healthy, thriving, successful marriage.

We just assume, get married and live happily ever after.

Until you don’t.

THE TRUTH IS MOST PEOPLE DON’T WANT TO GET DIVORCED.

Divorce is painful, costly and fractures families.

But when you’ve been struggling for a lot of years and you’re in pain it can feel like the only option.

In my experience the issues that you’re fighting about, the issues that are seemingly ruining your relationship, ARE NOT deal breaker issues.

It less about the issues themselves, and really about HOW YOU TALK ABOU THE ISSUES, that create the problems.

The repeated triggering and re triggering of each other over and over again, without knowing how to repair, causes the marriage to break down over time.

These repeated cycles of hurt chip away at the goodwill in the relationship.

It gets to a point where you just can’t stand it anymore. It feels so intolerable to continue on this way.

You can’t imagine it ever getting better so the next step would have to be separation or divorce.
But what if you could actually learn HOW TO BE MARRIED in a whole new way.

Actually LEARN THE SKILLS THAT YOU WERE NEVER TAUGHT about how to have a healthy, satisfying marriage?

After doing this work for over a decade and working with hundreds of couples, what I have found to be the biggest challenge for married people is how they deal with differences in their relationship.

This could be anything from how you parent, to how you spend money, how you want to spend free time, how you fold laundry, how often you want to have sex….
The list is endless.

Every single marriage will have an infinite list of both big and small differences.

You are different people, from different backgrounds, with different experiences, who see the world and life through a different lens.

Yet, many of us go into marriage expecting that our partner will see and do things the same way we do.

When your differences really start to show themselves is where most relationships start to struggle.

Those that are unable to move on from these struggles and instead, continue fighting against their differences, are the relationships that fail.

Those that ARE ABLE TO use their struggles to grow and learn and evolve together in their marriage…..
learning to accept and appreciate their differences, are the ones that find a deeper intimacy, respect and appreciation in their relationship.

Accepting and appreciating differences sounds like a very simple thing. And it is simple, in theory, but it’s hard to do because we’re human.
It can be challenging to hold onto our own perspective while listening to our partner’s perspective when it differs from ours, without immediately invalidating or dismissing or making the other person wrong.

You may feel triggered when you see your partner interact with your children differently than you would. You may want to jump in and tell them they’re doing it wrong and they should do it the way you do. You may be dumbfounded that your partner could possibly think the way they do.

Your own growth in this area, your ability to be curious about and respect your partner’s differences, IS what will allow your marriage to grow and flourish.

Which is exactly why I created Marriage Mastery.

TO TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO BE MARRIED!

✅ How to communicate around their differences.
✅ How to be with each other respectfully when you disagree.
✅ How to understand, accept and appreciate differences…..

Instead of trying to make them go away.
✅ How to listen to each other… And be curious about your partner’s world instead of being defensive and judgmental when you don’t agree.
✅ How to manage your own emotions when conversations get tense, so you can work through tough issues without it ending in a heated argument.
✅ How to express yourself in a calm respectful way so you can still feel close to your spouse despite your differences.

After years of doing this work, I’ve created my own process to help people heal and strengthen their marriage even when their differences feel insurmountable.

I’ll say it again….differences are a normal part of any and all relationships and what matters is how we deal with them.

THESE ARE SKILLS THAT CAN BE LEARNED. 
You don’t have to keep living with the struggles in your marriage and divorce doesn’t have to be the only option.

Many of my clients who come to me, they don’t want to go the divorce route.

Has it been a thought in their head? Yes.

But only because they’re in a lot of pain and they don’t know what else to do, but it’s NOT the thing they want.

In Marriage Mastery I teach the skills you need to know in order to deal with your differences effectively.

By learning to see your marriage problems as a lack of skill, a lack of knowing what to do…. This takes the pressure off of needing to place blame or fault on one of you.

Once you start to see your problems from a different perspective you start to feel more hopeful and motivated to do what it will take.

And when I explain to them WHY they are struggling so much and HOW they can turn their marriage around, they immediately feel a sense of hope.

They have been looking for someone to tell them, YES I CAN HELP YOU and here’s how.

Nothing brings me more joy than seeing my clients feel relieved and hopeful that there is a better path forward for their marriage.

Each session I notice their shoulders slightly lower because they are no longer carrying the tension in their body, their interactions are kinder and more compassionate.

Yes, they are having hard conversations but for the first time they are having these conversations in a meaningful way.

They are hearing each other and listening to each other in a new way. They are feeling heard and understood.

The anger is replaced with the more vulnerable feelings of a longing to be close to the other. It truly is an honor to witness and be able to support people in this process.

Marriage Mastery is my 12 week private coaching program for midlife, professional, self aware, insightful women (& couples), who have been married for years, who are committed to staying married but know the relationship needs to change.

My 3 month marriage coaching intensive is the fastest way to transform your marriage and life and save years of continued unhappiness.

The women and couples I work with, who have the best results, are those that are self aware and open-minded and are willing to take responsibility for their part in the marriage issues rather than just blame their partner.

They are willing and motivated to do the daily work it takes to create a healthy thriving relationship because they know that if they do the work it will truly be life-changing for both them and their partner.

They are action takers and will implement the new behaviors, perspective shifts and consistently exercise the emotional muscle it takes to break old patterns and forge a new path forward.

I am kind and compassionate but I will also hold you accountable for the work you commit to and lovingly call you out when you’re not showing up for yourself and your commitment to change.

If you’re struggling or feeling frustrated right now and you know things have not been getting magically better, you’re committed to making your marriage work, you want to turn things around now AND you’re ready to invest in working with a mentor who has proven results, send me a message and we can see if working together is a fit.

Why Couples Therapy Often Fails

May 7, 2023May 4, 2023 by Elyssa Manis

I get asked a lot, what’s the difference between therapy and coaching.

People have lots of different explanations around this. Some say therapy is more focused on the past and coaching is focused on the future.

Some say therapy is problem focused, coaching is solution focused.

Any and all of those could be true but what’s more important is, does the therapist or coach have a process or plan to help clients get the results they want.

Most therapy does NOT have a process or a plan when it comes to helping couples.

Which is why couples therapy often fails clients.

If you’ve been to therapy before and it didn’t work, don’t lose hope. It may be that you just didn’t find the right help.

⭐ WHAT WORKS FOR INDIVIDUAL CLIENTS DOES NOT WORK FOR COUPLES

I worked as a therapist for years and I realized early on that the same skills I was using to work with individuals, did NOT work for couples.

It was clear that asking a couple “how does that make you feel”, was an invitation to unleash every complaint and criticism of their partner. The conversation would escalate and I was left wondering, what now?

So in 2010 I began taking some courses in couples therapy. It became abundantly clear that there was an entirely different skill set that I needed to learn to work with couples effectively.

And since that day I have completed countless courses and trainings, with the top leaders in the field, in couples therapy.

And I continue to participate in trainings through the programs I have previously trained with, so I can always be growing and bringing the best for my clients.

👉 UNFORTUNATELY, LOTS OF WELL MEANING THERAPISTS, who are trained to do individual therapy don’t realize that the skills you use in individual therapy are not the same skills you use with couples.

And using those same skills with couples actually makes things much worse.

The consumer, the couple, doesn’t know what to look for either.

And so if they see a therapist works with adolescents, adults, couples, etc. they will choose that person. This therapist, most likely, is not equipped to help a couple in distress.

This would be like going to see your general practitioner when you have a heart condition.

Many of the clients that come to work with me have been to multiple therapists before and the therapy failed them.

Not because the therapists aren’t good therapists, they may be an outstanding therapist. But for individuals, NOT couples.

💥 HOW DOES THIS AFFECT COUPLES

Unfortunately, many couples give up after seeing one or two or maybe even 3 therapists with little to no results or perhaps making things worse.

The couples figures, divorce must be the only option, EVEN THE THERAPIST CAN’T HELP US. We must be really damaged.

You see, when couples reach out to get help, they are in a very delicate and vulnerable state, as many wait years before they seek support. So, often, they are at the end of their rope and have even contemplated divorce.

The majority of these couples don’t want to get divorced. What they really want is for someone to say to them, “I can help you”. “I know what the problem is, why you’re here and what you can do to turn your marriage around”.

Many of these couples are truly just looking for hope that things can be better than they are.

⭐ WHAT IS THE RIGHT HELP?

AFTER DOING THIS WORK FOR OVER A DECADE I know what works and what doesn’t and what you, the consumer, should look for when seeking help for your marriage.

Couples are typically in distress by the time they reach out for help.

They’ve been repeating painful patterns for years that have left them frustrated, exhausted and hopeless.

What they need is to know that what they are experiencing is common and it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with them.

The problem is they simply haven’t found a way to work through their difficulties.

Normalizing their difficulties and letting them know there is hope. They can then breath a sigh of relief knowing that I am going to show them a way out of the pain and into a more promising future.

❌ THE BIGGEST MISTAKE THERAPISTS MAKE when working with couples.

❌ NO CLEAR PLAN ABOUT HOW THEY ARE GOING TO HELP YOU

Diving right into problem solving without any clear goals, without conceptualizing the problem for the couple and without mapping out a plan what they will need to be working on so they can achieve their goals.

There really is no clear plan or path forward.

They may end up just focusing on the whatever issue they are having that week.

There is no real learning taking place around how you break these patterns, how you move your relationship forward in a positive direction, how you stop triggering each other, what you each need to do to improve your interactions.

When I work with a couple the first thing I do is help them understand the problem. How they got here, what it will take to improve.

I will identify the destructive cycle for them so each partner begins to understand what they are working on changing.

Clients have to know what they are working on outside the session, otherwise nothing will change.

❌ LACK OF LEADERSHIP

Most therapists lack the leadership that is required in couples sessions.

Have you been to therapy before and you just fought in the session without the therapist being able to take charge and control of the session?

Strong leadership is crucial.

Therapists, in couples sessions, cannot just sit back and listen, reflect, and support.

What’s required is a strong, confident leader that can interrupt the couple’s ineffective, unhealthy patterns in real time.

Therapists MUST BE highly active in the process to contain what happens in the session and help clients have a corrective experience.

When leadership is lacking, couples will leave feeling hopeless that change is possible. Because they are simply repeating in the therapist’s office, what they do at home.

Thinking, if even the therapist can’t help us, we must be beyond help.

❌ SPORADIC SESSIONS OR ONLY WHEN THERE IS A CRISIS

Going to therapy once a month or whenever you have a big fight is not effective in helping couples create lasting change.

This is a reactive method and doesn’t really change the dynamics, it simply pacifies the current issue.

As I said before, when couples seek help they are typically in distress.

A once a month or every few weeks is not enough to move them out of the pain they are in and put them on a positive path forward.

When I work with a couple in distress I have a minimum commitment of 3 months. And many of my clients continue beyond that.

Why? Because creating significant change in your relationship takes a lot more than a few sessions.

Think about how long it has taken you to get to this point. You’ve had years of practicing the patterns and habits that are deeply entrenched in your relationship. Undoing those patterns and habits takes time, daily commitment, support and accountability.

All of these mistakes speak to a LACK OF PROCESS, PLAN & LEADERSHIP.

Which is what is necessary when working with couples and why therapy often fails couples.

That’s why I’ve spent years creating my own process and plan for how to get couples the best results possible.

💞 My 12 week MARRIAGE MASTERY program is different than anything you’ve tried before. 

With my approach you know what your goals are and what you are working towards. You have a clear process and plan to help you achieve those goals.

I’m NOT A GENERAL therapist or coach.

I specialize in working with married women & couples only.

I am an expert at what I do.

✅ I’ve spent years developing my framework and stripping back the things that were not needed so that you can make progress quickly and permanently giving you both the tools and techniques to be able to use and succeed in the future too.

✅ If you’re struggling or feeling hopeless right now, if you’ve been to therapy before and it didn’t help or made things worse, if you feel like no matter what you do things just never seem to get better……

✅ You’re committed to making your marriage work, you want to turn things around now AND you’re ready to invest in working with a mentor who has proven results, send me a message and we can see if working together is a fit.

➡️ In your message, tell me a little bit about your current situation, how long you have been married for, what you’ve tried already to make your marriage better and what is the main outcome that you are looking to achieve, then I will take it from there.

➡️ Please don’t be afraid of messaging me or booking a call with me. I have worked with so many different clients now I can confidently assure you that I will have already dealt with similar problems, stresses and issues to the ones that you are currently facing and I look forward to hearing from you.

Tired of Walking Around on Eggshells in Your Marriage?

February 10, 2023 by Elyssa Manis

You’re careful about what you say so you don’t upset your partner and cause an argument.

You pain over how to bring up an issue because you’re worried about how he’ll react.

Censoring what you say and how you say it is so natural you don’t even realize you’re doing it most of the time.

These patterns of relating and communicating are common in many couple relationships and are the reason so many couples feel resentful and disconnected from each other.

These patterns go on for years, sometimes decades and even though they likely don’t make your relationship any better you can’t imagine how to do it differently.

Some people avoid conflict at all cost and live pleasantly with no real depth to their relationship.

Some argue frequently and then just move on after a few days without ever addressing the issue, until the argument comes up again.

Each relationship develops different patterns.

The common denominator is these patterns are painful and compromise the quality of your life and marriage.

The good news is you can change these patterns no matter how long you’ve been at it.

Just like my client who was in this exact place when we started working together.

She had always described herself as a confident, direct, say it how it is kind of person.

That is in all places except her marriage.

When conversations became tense her husband would raise his voice, get defensive or angry. She would get defensive and angry back and then they wouldn’t talk for days.

He would go radio silent and she didn’t know what to say or do to make things better but she knew she hated the silence between them.

It was painful to live this way. Not knowing when he would be ready to talk again.

Because of this, she decided it was better to not bring up things that might cause this to happen again.

That’s when she decided it was better to keep her concerns to herself. She stopped sharing her thoughts, feelings, desires, concerns openly and honestly.

She started internalizing everything instead of bringing it up with her husband because she couldn’t bare the stonewalling.

Not being true to herself, not speaking up or being honest had it’s own set of repercussions.

The more she censored herself, walked on eggshells, didn’t voice her concerns, She noticed she started to feel anxious and depressed.

She even started to consider that their marriage just wouldn’t work and that without him changing she couldn’t see how this could possibly work.

All of that changed over the months that we worked together.

First I helped her see that her avoidance was causing much more harm to their relationship and to her.

In the moment she might avoid an argument but the long term consequences of that was compromising her mental health and she started to feel more hopeless about their marriage and considered they may have to separate.

With weekly coaching sessions she learned to think about conflict differently. Viewing it as an opportunity for each of them to grow as people and as a couple rather than something to be avoided.

She stopped feeling responsible for her husband’s reactions and focused on controlling her own emotions and reactions.

She went from thinking she had to adjust her behavior so he didn’t get upset to realizing It’s ok for him to have his reactions, to be upset or angry and she only has to work on how she responds to him.

This freed up so much mental energy for her to focus on how to communicate more effectively with him.

She learned how to bring up concerns in a confident, assertive way even if her husband disagreed or didn’t like what she was saying.

She learned to set boundaries when she felt like the conversation was heading down a bad path.

She started to be more herself again. Speaking up for herself confidently and directly.
Telling her husband what she wanted instead of complaining of what wasn’t happening.
And guess what…..her husband responded much better than she ever imagined.

He was responding to the changes she was making. He had a better understanding of what her concerns were and what she wanted because of the more direct, non blaming way she was communicating.

It was easier for him to receive her message when it was delivered in this way.

This is true of all relationships.

The more she showed up in her power and communicated assertively, when she talked about what she wanted instead of talking about him, speaking without blame, criticism or judgment, things started to shift in their relationship.

Depression and anxiety lifted and she began to have hope about their marriage again.

As a couple they started to work more as a team. Supporting each other through difficulties instead of working against each other.

She feels so much better about herself and her marriage and feels equipped to deal with things that come their way.

She is more accepting of her husband and his differences rather than making them mean that they don’t belong together.

This is what can happen when you learn the skills and tools that it takes to have a successful, supportive loving partnership.

Do You Consider Yourself a Good Listener?

December 2, 2022November 27, 2022 by Elyssa Manis

What about when it comes to your marriage?

Do you listen to your partner like you would a good friend? Or is it more like you’re kinda listening but really thinking about how wrong they are and what you’re planning to say as a rebuttal?

Listening sounds so simple. Yet, when you’re out of practice it can feel really hard to do.

The truth is most of us could probably work on our listening skills especially when it comes to our significant relationships.

In long term marriage it is very common for partners to become focused on being heard by the other but are often not so good at listening to each other.

So don’t feel bad if this is you. Like other skills, you can get better at this through practice.

So, Think for a moment.

What happens when your partner says something you don’t like or DON’T agree with?

Do you pause, get curious and ASK QUESTIONS about why he thinks that?

Or, do you GET DEFENSIVE and tell him he’s wrong, and that’s a stupid idea and we’re not doing it that way!?

Do you judge, criticize and offer your unsolicited solution… “you should….”

I used to do that too. Not just with my husband but with my kids as well.

The outcome was always the same. Neither of us felt heard. We were both angry and annoyed with each other and could never seem to have a productive conversation.

The good news is
You don’t have to solve ALL of your problems to communicate better.

You don’t need to rehash every argument from the past

But you do have to become a better listener.

No I mean like really listening.

That means being curious, asking questions to learn more about your partner, staying calm and accepting even when you don’t agree.

These are skills that will benefit you in any relationship.

When I learned to listen and be curious instead of critical and judgmental I learned things about my husband I didn’t know. Because my curiosity invited conversation.

And conversation invites connection.

The same is true with my kids, who are now 18 and 20. Instead of telling them what they should do, I ask them to tell me what they think.

When you get quiet and listen, they talk.

These are the exact skills I help my clients practice and strengthen, and they end up being able to communicate in ways that bring closeness and connection instead of distance and disconnect in their marriage.

Maybe reading this has confirmed that you are already aware of what you’re doing, but you don’t know how to change your DEFAULT RESPONSE. And you’re certainly not alone if this is the case.

That’s exactly what I help women and couples with in my 1:1 private coaching.

Working with me will help you STOP reacting with blame, defensiveness and anger, listen with curiosity, let go of past resentments, and enjoy being married again.

With my supportive instruction, accountability, and feedback you will receive, YOU can learn to COMMUNICATE better and RECONNECT to your partner and listen to each other like good friends.

Schedule a call with me and we can set up a time to chat and determine whether working with me is right for you.
This is a free 30 minute ‘get to know you’ call.

You can tell me what’s currently going on in your marriage, how you want it to be different and I’ll share with you how I can help you.