It happened again!

He came home from work in a mood and then went straight to his computer. 

Seriously, how many times do we have to have the same conversation for him to get it.

Couldn’t he at least say, “how was your day honey”.

You’re tired of feeling like an afterthought, like you don’t even matter.

You’re angry but it’s not worth bringing up AGAIN, so instead you go quiet, give him the cold shoulder, secretly hoping he’ll notice and ask you what’s wrong.

But of course, he didn’t even notice. Now you’re even more upset. 

The answer seems so obvious. If he would just change you wouldn’t be so angry and upset all the time.

Having the same issues come up over and over again and nothing changes is so frustrating.

I Get It!

Having the same issues come up over and over again and nothing changes is so frustrating. ​ ​

You think, It shouldn’t be this hard.

I know! I’ve said that countless times when I was going through these exact struggles in my own marriage.

And here’s what I discovered that turned my marriage in a whole new direction.  

The problem you’re having is NOT what your husband is doing or not doing. 

It’s the thoughts you’re having about it!  

Just take that in for a moment. I know it probably isn’t the answer you were expecting.

Even though it feels like your husband is the one that’s making you feel frustrated and upset the reality is, it’s how you’re choosing to think about it.

You have expectations that he SHOULD be more talkative or more affectionate or less grumpy. When he’s not, you think, “he can’t even do one simple thing for me”. That thought is what causes you to feel angry and frustrated. 

Let me give you another example. Here’s a thought exercise I do with my clients. I ask them to imagine their husband coming home and sitting on the couch. And try on two different ways of thinking about it.

➨One thought is, “guess he doesn’t give a shit about my day”.
➨he second thought is, “he probably needs some time to decompress. I remember he’s said that before, that he likes 30 minutes to just unwind before having conversation”.

How did each of those thoughts make you feel?

I bet the first one made you feel angry, unimportant.
And the second one, understanding, compassion, love.

That’s the power of choosing your thoughts. Which is one of the core things I help my clients with.

With my  I teach my clients the exact strategies and tools they need to eliminate painful patterns in their relationship and connect to their husband with love.

First we dive into identifying and understanding the patterns in your marriage that are causing you so much pain.
Then we identify your key triggers. When you are aware of the things that trigger you, you can work on being less reactive so you can talk about things without arguing.
And then we focus on your mindset. The thoughts and beliefs you have about yourself, your husband and your marriage that are keeping you stuck and prevent you from seeing new possibilities for your future.

Just like you saw above when you change your thoughts it makes you feel completely different. Which ultimately changes the results you have.

Instead of taking things personally you’ll be able to stay in your own lane and not be affected by your husband’s mood.
You’ll be curious and compassionate about his behavior instead of furious. What does his quiet grumpy mood mean if it’s not about you.

❤️By choosing different thoughts you can have a different experience of your husband.

❤️You’ll feel more hopeful about your marriage and your life.

❤️Get out of negative thought patterns that you’ve been stuck in about your husband that have been holding you back from being happy in your marriage.

❤️You’ll end up creating an entirely different narrative about your marriage and opening up to having a marriage that’s even better than you dreamed.

This is the work my clients dive deep into when we work together in my  

If you’re ready to stop having the same fight over and over again with your husband and enjoy being married to him again, then send me a private message and we’ll have a quick chat to see if it’s a fit for you.

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